Right before Shane committed his tragic final act, i imagined what he'd probably do.. i imagined him writing a note to somewhat help justify his actions, and answer some question that his loved ones might of had after he died.
so, here goes.
Right now, I'm at my rope's fuckin end. i don't know what the hell I'm doin, i really don't. I'm fathering my brother's kid, and my sister in law is now my wife... the little dude looks up into my eyes and he ain't stupid, he knows im not his daddy. I can't explain why i did that shit- sleepin with Janelle, but everyday i wake up from the same horrible nightmare... I'm giving it to her good, when out of nowhere, tarriq comes in. The look on his face is enough to tear me to shreds.. and then he leaves. I'm chasin after him, but he's too fast for me, and then outta nowhere, a car comes, and then BAM! he's there, just lyin in a pool of blood.. The shit was shaped like fuckin angel wings- the same thing as my momma when she got gunned down by that cracker- a sight i don't think imma ever forget for as long as i live...It's been two years since then, and everyday for me feels like a lie. Not to mention i have these crazy ass headaches, that fuckin last for hours ad drive me crazy, so i pop too many zanies and wash it down with some henny and get really crazy stomachaches that fuckin kill me... i just- i can't deal with it anymore.. I'm done.. i swear i can hear everybody callling me.. from heaven. First Tarriq, then ms. Holmes, then Aunt Mazie and ma... maybe it's time for me.. just maybe.. to Janelle, i FUCKIN HATE YOU. you're a conniving, sheisty ass bitch, and if it weren't for you i still have my brother.. to my son k'shan and my ex-wifey Kari, i love you, and im sorry i hurt you so much.. one day we'll meet again and imma make everything up to you guys. i promise. Misty and Brick, even though y'all are dead to me, i wish y'all all the best.. keep hustlin..
Goodbye everyone.
Shane Batista
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